Showing posts with label I am awesome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I am awesome. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Drop your bombs between the minarets!
Calculus Final?
Calculus Final, you say?
Here's how it went:
Over the wall.
Top corner.
Keeper's got no chance.
Back of the net.
And that, kiddies, is how you get an A in Calculus.
JLK
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Your High Society Quizo Update
After Quizo this evening I will be attending the 2006 Barrymore Awards. Given these circumstances, it is important to note several things:
1) Our last show, "The Distance From Here," aka "I Can't Believe They Killed A Baby," aka "That Poster Is The Most Horrifying Thing I've Ever Seen" is not nominated. This is okay. In fact, this was done on purpose. We felt it would be unfair to compete, and wanted to give other people a chance to win. Because, you know, I'm a giver. Plus, this way, when my company and I begin our Sith-like domination of Philadelphia theatre (currently scheduled to begin 8PM January 4) people will have something to feel good about as we crush dissension, clone stormtroopers, and occasionally produce plays (about the crushing of dissension, if I can swing it).
2) My responsibility to the trivia-mad public means that, unfortunately, I will have to miss the unbearably tedious awards ceremony and only attend the after-party. Bummer, huh?
3) Two of my friends ARE nominated, however, for two different Ensembles (for Richard III and the Wizard of Oz). And they're married! To each other, I mean. How weird is that? More pressing, how weird will it be if one wins and the other doesn't? They make reality shows about shit like that. Either way, send positive thoughts in that direction, although if they do win I'll likely never hear the end of it, so maybe don't send too many.
4) The Barrymores are a formal affair, and as I will have to head directly there from Quizo I will be dressed appropriately. Snarky, sarcastic, or otherwise negative comments toward such will almost certainly insure that I will have a VERY hard time reading your handwriting, and will thus have to mark a disproportionate number of your answers wrong. Something probably in the vicinity of, say, all of them. And, remember, I'm quite sensitive. Hey, be happy I'm not the guy going in a kilt.
Wait a second, that guy works for me.
Ah, crap.
JLK
1) Our last show, "The Distance From Here," aka "I Can't Believe They Killed A Baby," aka "That Poster Is The Most Horrifying Thing I've Ever Seen" is not nominated. This is okay. In fact, this was done on purpose. We felt it would be unfair to compete, and wanted to give other people a chance to win. Because, you know, I'm a giver. Plus, this way, when my company and I begin our Sith-like domination of Philadelphia theatre (currently scheduled to begin 8PM January 4) people will have something to feel good about as we crush dissension, clone stormtroopers, and occasionally produce plays (about the crushing of dissension, if I can swing it).
2) My responsibility to the trivia-mad public means that, unfortunately, I will have to miss the unbearably tedious awards ceremony and only attend the after-party. Bummer, huh?
3) Two of my friends ARE nominated, however, for two different Ensembles (for Richard III and the Wizard of Oz). And they're married! To each other, I mean. How weird is that? More pressing, how weird will it be if one wins and the other doesn't? They make reality shows about shit like that. Either way, send positive thoughts in that direction, although if they do win I'll likely never hear the end of it, so maybe don't send too many.
4) The Barrymores are a formal affair, and as I will have to head directly there from Quizo I will be dressed appropriately. Snarky, sarcastic, or otherwise negative comments toward such will almost certainly insure that I will have a VERY hard time reading your handwriting, and will thus have to mark a disproportionate number of your answers wrong. Something probably in the vicinity of, say, all of them. And, remember, I'm quite sensitive. Hey, be happy I'm not the guy going in a kilt.
Wait a second, that guy works for me.
Ah, crap.
JLK
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