For someone who does not meet the clinical definition of a "sadist" necessarily, I do take an awful lot of joy in tormenting my friends. My one buddy, let's call him... say... "Ken Turner of Linwood, NJ," we had this conversation in his car on the way to dinner on Saturday night.
Ken: What are you doing?
Me: I'm plugging my iPod into your radio.
Ken: What? No! No! Don't.... oh, no.
Me: (searching for a song to play) What? What's the problem?
Ken: Oh, god, this is going to be horrible.
[music begins]
Ken: This isn't too bad...
[a few seconds pass]
Me: (singing) SHE'S ONLY SEVENTEEEEEEEEEEN!
Ken: Oh, god.
Me: (singing) DADDY SAYS SHE'S TOOOOOO YOUUUUNG BUT SHE'S OLD ENOUGH FOR MEEEEEEEE!
Ken: This is the most awful thing I've ever heard.
Me: Fine, I'll put something else on.
Ken: Why do you even have these songs on your iPod?
Me: (searching) I ask myself that all the time... ah, here we go.
Me: (singing) You've got style that's what all the GIIIIIIIIRLS SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Ken: Why are you doing this to me? Please, god, stop!
Me: (singing) All your suits are custom made in LOOOOOOOOOONNNNDOOOOOOOOON!
Ken: You're killing me. I can feel my brain dying.
Me: (searching iPod) Fine, fine...
Ken: Don't you have any music I won't hate?
Me: Probably not... ah! Found it.
[music plays]
Me : (singing): I NEVER MEANT TO BEEEE SO BAAAAAAD TO YOUUUUUUUU!
Ken: God you're annoying.
Me: (searching iPod) I'm not annoying, I'm charming.
Ken: Uh, yeah, here's the thing about that -
Me: LIDO MISSED THE BOAT THAT DAAAAAY HE LEFT THE SHACK!
Ken: Just... please, stop.
Me: (searching iPod) You love Coldplay, right?
Ken: AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!
[bangs head on steering wheel]
Who needs to go out on a Saturday night when you can have that much fun just driving to dinner?
JLK
Monday, July 30, 2007
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment