Your Extra Primo Good Quizo Update

A couple things from around the horn this week:

- Though I have never actually sat through, from beginning to end, an unedited version of it, Trading Places is by a country mile my favorite Philadelphia movie and is probably one of my top-five favorite comedies of all time. I watched it again yesterday for about the 90th time and sweet zombie Jesus it still cracks me the hell up, even when I'm on the tail end of a 17-hour, three-city wedding celebration extravaganza that saw me go something like 34 straight hours without sleep. I especially love the fact that there is an entire website - http://dangerouslogic.com/trading_places.html - dedicated to explaining just what happens at the end of the movie, which I cheerfully admit I STILL don't completely understand. But hey, cheer up, Coleman, in a couple hours you gonna be richest butler who ever lived.

- From a purely personal-health-related standpoint, I cannot in good conscience recommend embarking on a 17-hour, three-city wedding celebration extravaganza, unless you are a) suicidal, b) a goddamned idiot, or c) both. Seriously, kids, do not do as I do. I spent most of last evening flipping between Trading Places and the PGA Championship, alternatively counting the minutes until I could go to sleep without waking up at 4 in the morning and wishing God would smite me with a lightning bolt and end my interminable misery. Sleep is not for the weak. You will not sleep when you're dead (well, you will, but that's not really the point). Punch me in the face the next time I say those things.

- Obviously, don't punch me in the face. That would be, shall we say, an "exceedingly bad choice" on your part.

- I used to know a cocktail waitress at the Borgata who said that all the serious gamblers she knew were Bob Seger fans. I wouldn't call myself a "serious gambler" necessarily, but I am a long-time admirer of Seger and I have to put this out there: can anyone tell me what the FUCK the song "Ship of Fools" is actually about? I've been listening to it for more than ten years and the fact that I can't get my mind around it drives me absolutely bonkers.

- The Premiership season started this weekend, and yay! The soul-bludgeoning nightmare of seven whole weeks without soccer is finally over. Man these odd-numbered summers (i.e. without a World Cup or European Championship) are tough to take. Clearly, I (and others of my ilk) deserve some kind of commendation for enduring it.

JLK