Your Brush With Death Quizo Update

Since our motto here at Quizo HQ has always been "Safety First," I'd like to present you with some information, gleaned through actual, firsthand empirical research that may prove very useful in your future.

Things You Don't Want To Be Doing When Your Car Suddenly And Inexplicably Blows Up:

1) Driving it.

2) Driving it to work.

3) Driving it to work on 95.

4) Trying to get yourself out of it while pulled over on 95 on your way to work.

Some important corollaries to this list:

1) When driving your car on I-95, if you hear a muffled "BOOM!" when you step on the accelerator and, immediately thereafter, smoke starts billowing out the front of your car and people driving past slow down to shout "your car is on fire!" at you, that is what we in the safety business call a "bad sign."

2) When attempting to assess any possible damage to your vehicle, always do so from a safe distance, as after a piston punches a golf-ball-sized hole through both your engine and your oil pan there will be hot oil and shredded metal everywhere.

3) A safe distance to observe these phenomena does not include directly underneath the car while it is up on a tow truck lift since, as tow truck drivers and mechanics will tell you, and I am quoting here, "hydraulics fail."

4) The time to be especially watchful for any and/or all of these signs of danger is within 7 days of paying almost $400 to have your car pass inspection.

5) When preparing to take your vengeance upon a cruel and heartless universe, stock up on ammunition beforehand. As a regular person you will have no problem buying bullets. Once you become known as "The Destroyer of Worlds" you're going to find it very difficult to get any kind of customer service at the ammo counter.

JLK