Your Insider Information Quizo Update

Okay.

There have been some complaints about last week's speed round.

A small smattering (is that redundant?) of these complaints were about the topic of the speed round, to which I say, "shut the fuck up." As I noted on the top of the sheet, for more than three years now we have done the Eagles starting lineups every goddamn year the first week of football season. EVERY. GODDAMN. YEAR. It is not often that I am so depressingly predictable, but tradition is one of those things I tend to get prickly about. And so we will continue to do the Eagles' starting lineups the first week of football season, until either I die or the entropic heat death of the universe. I, for one, would not take bets on which will come first.

Then there are the complaints about a certain team's performance on the speed round, and allegations of - GASP! - cheating.

Now on the surface I can see how having an actual member of the Eagles fill out your Eagles' starting lineup speed round could be considered an unfair advantage of sorts. However, after consulting the Royal and Ancient Rules of Quizo I made the determination that having the answer to a question tell you that he is, in fact, the answer to a question does not constitute cheating in the strictest Quizo sense. (It is, remarkably enough, considered cheating in chess.) It's certainly not a "whoever wrote this paper doesn't know anything about Kurt Vonnegut" type of situation. So, we congratulate Pelti and Drago on having the foresight to happen to sit next to Stewart Bradley last week.

But we certainly have big things on tap for tonight, one of which will at the very least prevent a repeat of last week's shenanigans, unless the St. Joe's Hawk (curse his black soul) ends up drinking next to Das Boot.

First and most important it is vitally, dreadfully, fantastically important that everyone remember that tonight is a special Monday Night Football Edition of Quizo, which means that we will be starting at SEVEN (7)(VII)(sept)(sieben)(a David Fincher film) in the PM, and that you also remember that the speed of MNF Quizo would put the Flash to shame. We do this partly because I would not want to subject our loyal Quizo brethren to the horror of trying to answer trivia questions while surrounded by hordes of obnoxious Eagles fans, and partly because I want to get home in time for the game. So, basically, I'm a giver.

Second and almost as important - more, perhaps, to some - Alias Pseudonym Undercover, fresh off Brian's summer exile in Delaware, will be going for their third win in a row tonight. I must implore you to not let this happen, as these are guys you do not want choosing a speed round. Or, I dunno, maybe you do, since the look on their faces when they see what I do with whatever ridiculous topic they pick should be well worth the trouble.

JLK